I feel that I am beginning to "heal."  Earlier this year I read something about "time heals all wounds."  What I read was that is wasn't about time itself, it was about all the things that happened during that period of time.  Over the last seven months I have wept, gone to grief counseling, called family at all hours of the day and night, read and read and read about grief and loss, and had the fantastic support of family and friends.  I NEVER, EVER thought I would get to the point I am today.  I feel normal.  At times I also feel somewhat guilty for feeling normal.  I know that is not how I should feel.  My grief counselor has told me that.  I will get through this guilt feeling one day too. 

 

My brother and sister-in-law, Rich and Pam, are here for a visit.  How nice.  Ray's sister Grace also came in yesterday (she is doing a poolside Tupperware party tonight).  We grilled pork chops last night and sat around our new firepit.  I felt normal.

 

Amity is doing well.  She appears normal by all accounts.  The cancer is there, but not taking a toll on her yet.  I am happy she is with me.  The only problem is she wakes me at 6:30 a.m. every morning. 

 

Last week we had such great guests stay with us.  Marguerite and I went to sunset with some of them, dinner, the local theatre, swimming, and more.  I felt like I was on vacation.  Trust me we work very hard all day doing breakfast, cleaning dishes, doing laundry, cleaning rooms, checking people in (and out), taking reservations, cleaning the pool and hot-tub, waatering flowers, etc., etc.  But we also enjoy ourselves throught the day.  So we work hard and we play hard - I guess you could say.  It has been nice and it is part of my healing process that has gotten me to the point of feeling normal.  I am healing.  - Jimmy

Three years ago tonight my brother David was rushed to St. John Hospital.  He died a few days dater. 

 

It runs through my mind.  I am tired.  Good night.  Jimmy

Well here it is...mid-summer already.  Too busy to do much grieving.  It's constantly "go, go, go."  Wonderful weekend full of wonderful guests!  New and repeat.  We had a "Christmas in July" celebration this weekend.  A small, lighted tree sat on the piano, Christmas music played from the piano, even some small decorations.  On Saturday night we had a Christmas party at the pool.  Food, beverages and gift exchange game.  Everyone had a blast.

 

Yesterday I went to the cemetery with Marguerite and some guests.  (I go every day, but this was special.)  David Laski came along.  He was here with his partner, Kyle, the night Ray died.  He brought a dozen yellow roses and a vase to leave at the grave for Ray.

 

Amity is still stable.  She eats well, is up about one pound and seems happy and content.  She just keeps throwing up.  It seems like the minute I get it all cleaned up she does it again.  It is not really solid material, it's more of a liquid material.  So, I don't know what to do.  Again, she doesn't seem to be doing any kind of suffering.  In fact she is sitting here next to me on the floor right now cleaning herself.

 

Marguerite and i are going to the Allegan Flea Market in a couple  minutes.  So, I will close for now.  I am extremely tired from the busy summer, but it will all slow down a bit in a couple months.  - Jimmy

Wednesday night.  July 21.  It is almost the morning of the 22.  Today was a very good day.  I went with my mom and two nieces (Lauren and Julia) to Holland.  We went to "Dutch Village," a theme park.  It was so totally "tourist" but was perfect for us.  We spent about 1 and 1/2 hours there.  The girls saw chickens, ducks, petted rabbits and fed goats.  They went on two pretty "lame" raides, but I think they had a good time.  It was the perfect pace for my mom.  Later we went to Big Lots...one of my FAVORITE stores. 

 

Marguerite and I went to see the show at Mason Street Warehouse tonight.  it was "Dixie's Tupperware Party."  (Just "google" it and you'll see.)  We went with guests Mark and Steve.  They treated us to dinner tonight at Clearbrook.  It was a perfect night.

 

I will close now, but I must say that today I feel really good!  I am just a little sad that my mom and nieces will be going home tomorrow.  But Dave, Karl, Gary, Kyle and Autumn are checking-in tomorrow (The Kirby Girls)!  YEAH!  Jimmy

It is mid-summer.  My mother and two neices are here.  It is so nice.  I cherish the moments with them.  - Jimmy