Jim's Web-Log

Our "welcome party" is winding down...shortly. A few have gone to bed and several are still up...enjoying their libations. I plan to get to bed by 11:00 - we'll see.

Ray had to move up to the third floor today. It was almost harder than the move from the hospital! He is still eating very little. It was very difficult for me to pay major attention to him today because we had 16 people checking in , four rooms to clean, and I had to go to the bank, library and grocery store. My mom is my saviour right now. If nothing else, she is there to talk with me and give me support. She helped me clean rooms today, and that is not easy for her.

I guess to summarize, Ray is stable, nothing new to "report" but he is not his old self yet by any means. Tomorrow he may come down to see the guests.

It is Tuesday night, December 29th. We have a "FULL" house checking-in tomorrow for three nights for our New Year's Celebration Event. Tomorrow Ray must move to our third floor innkeeper's quarters. He has had a very difficult time getting around. He is fatigued very quickly when he does get up. He is still eating very little. I think his body has started to become used to not eating - so he doesn't have the hunger cravings like before. Tomorrow the home nurse comes to check on him.

My mom and I went into Holland today to get the final shopping done for our new year's dinner package. The Mazda was filled up, trunk and back seat. She bought us a new vacuum today because she didn't like the one she was using here (our 12 year old Oreck). Mom also made Ray's dinner tonight, some "Sweet Sue/Chicken and Dumplings" and toast (that was HIS request). He didn't eat much of the toast.

Ray's sister and brother-in-law (Kathleen and Dick) left for home today. They have about an 8-9 hour drive to Nashville, TN. It was such a pleasure to see them. In fact, my mom and her found out that they both worked at the same Woolworth's on 7 Mile and Gratiot in Detroit. In fact, they BOTH worked behind the candy counter! They didn't work there at the same time, but it was quite a coincidence. I think my mom has a new girlfriend!

Time for me to wrap up some stuff that has been cooling out of the oven and head to bed. We've got a BIG day tomorrow!

Another day at the Kirby House-Hospital. Ray's home care nurse came by today. He's lost 16 pounds since he's gotten home, but the nurse felt that it was "ok" since he was pumped up with tons of liquids on the I.V.'s. Ray is eating, but still very, very little!

Ray's sister Kathleen and her husband Dick got in yesterday. It's been nice to have them here. They spent time with Ray tonight so my mom and I could go out for dinner. It was nice to just get out of the house with my mom and not have to worry about anything. When we got back to the house Ray said he felt a little "dizzy." But we've always known that...LOL. It takes very little for him to get tuckered out.

Friends/guests Karlene and Margo checked-in today. So nice to see them.

I'm going to spend some time now with Kathleen looking at old pictures and such.

Here it is Christmas Day and it's great to have Ray home. I don't think he felt the greatest today, but he did try to show it.

My mom, brother and sister-in-law arrived safely at about 2:30 p.m. We had a great dinner...made by me, and did some gift exchanging. It is now 10:30 pm and I'm pretty tired. Ray went to bed about and hour and a half ago. (I don't think he could have slept though with all of us talking and the TV on.) I am on my way up to bed now.

Just an update...on January 5th Ray will meet with his surgeon for follow-up and referal to an oncologist. I can't go with him because two months ago I promised a teacher in Jenison I would sub for her on January 5 and 12. Our home care services nurse should come Monday to check up on Ray.

Not the greatest day today for Ray. (Did that all rhyme?) Yesterday Ray awoke with the words..."I'm back!" Today was a little bit of a different story. He is very tired...and very sore. A "wound" nurse came by today to check things. That went well...or as well as can be expected.

Willa came by again today. What an angel. We have such great friends and support system here in Saugatuck! Tony brought soup to us yesterday, Phil offers to do anything we need...on and on!

Ray's goal today was to be able to get out on his own to buy me a Christmas card. I knew he was pushing his luck on this when he mentioned it. He later begged me to buy one for me from him (does that make sense?). I told him I would not do that...but I did. I bought the biggest most expensive card there was...just kidding. He keeps begging for forgiveness (as far as for his helplessness). I can't seem to get it in his head that he doesn't need to do that. We saw three deer outside his bedroom window today. There is a bit of snow outside....and it is beginning to get icy.

I am soooo happy that my mom, brother and sister-in-law are coming in tomorrow. I have not spent Christmas Day with them in over 13 years!!!! My mom and I get along so well, there is no denying we are from the same "mold." And....Ray's sister and brother-in-law will be coming Saturday.

On a side note (trying to be humorous)...I'm thinking that Lifetime TV will make a movie of my blog, like the "Julie and Julia Project." Paul Walker will play me and George Clooney will play Ray. Anyway, humor is one of the things that has gotten us through this. Well....and a lot of pain medication for Ray and a lot of vodka for me....again just kidding. MERRY CHRISTMAS! My Man is home and I am so happy about that. God Bless Us Everyone!

It's hard to believe that a week ago things seemed so unsure. Ray has been doing very well today. I just don't want him to push it.

I went out and finally did some Christmas shopping. EVERONE was out shopping. But, I just relaxed and didn't let any stress get to me.

Tomorrow a "wound nurse" comes to make sure I know how to take care of/and change Ray's "bags." I think I'll be a pro at it. This should only be for a month or so, until they reverse the ileostomy...and then start radiation. Ray will go visit his surgeon on January 5th for follow up. I can't go because I already committed to subbing for 4th grade in Jenison on that day.

Here is a picture of flowers sent by Carolyn and Phil...they owned the Kemah Bed and Breakfast in Saugatuck.

Ray and I are having Thanksgiving leftovers tonight.

Ray had his first full day home. He's been home 24 hours now. He still has pain, but I told him his body has been cut into twice in one week. A nurse from Home Care Services came by today. We felt having home care would be beneficial, especially after that second surgery. With internal organs sticking out of your body it's better that a medical professional check to make sure everything looks good. As I said to Ray I didn't want to "guess" if things looked good. "Hmmmm, is that supposed to be blue?" So far things still look good. He has an ileostomy, which is temporary. A nurse will come by on Thursday to make sure I know what I'm doing changing the bags. Thank God we have excellent insurance!

I've been monitoring his temperature and bood pressure as well.

Moscow slept with Ray all night last night. I think that has been very therapeutic for him.

Tomorrow I MIGHT go Christmas shopping. I have done NONE of that. And I mean NONE! However, the only true Christmas gift I wanted was for Ray to come home (and I don't mean to sound like a Lifetime Movie). I really mean that. But, I would like to make Christmas special for Ray and have some gifts for him. My only concern is leaving him for a few hours...he should be OK though. We're pressing on and thanking God for what we have versus what could have been.

Well, Ray is finally home. His battle is far from over, but he is home and is so happy to be home. Especially before Christmas. I've got him "set up" in room 3 - the old operating room from the years this house served as the hospital. I'm keeping tabs on his temperature, blood pressure...and we even have to keep close tabs on his weight. Any dramatic increase or decrease in weight is not a good sign. The ole' Kirby House once again serves as a caring facility...with nurse Jim at Ray's side.

We ran into Ray's surgeon on the way out of the hospital. We are to set up an appointment with him for the first week of January. Ray's small intestines have been brought through his abdomen to drain...thus allowing the large intestine to heal. The chemo and radiation have to be scheduled around the surgery that will replace his small intestines. A complicated procedure too hard to describe on a blog!

I have learned more about the human digestive system in the last 12 days than I ever remember learning in school. It is a complicated and complex system. Everything has a purpose. Because of Ray's current intestinal "diversion" he has to be sure his body intakes a lot of sodium and potassium. He has been told to eat a lot of potato chips and pretzels...Gator Ade is good too.

We have several months yet to go on this recovery...but praise God Ray is home and seems well. I was very worried last Wednesday and I have to thank my mom and my friend Candy for letting me have a small "break-down" on the phone with them. And thanks to Willa from Twin Oaks Inn for being there today to help carry all the flowers out to the car and for Philip Raywood's frequent visits. We live in such an awesome community of people to support one another.

Our battle isn't over, so I will keep posting Ray's progress. Thanks to all for your prayers, thoughts and support!

Yesterday our guest/friend Matt Brink came by to visit Ray. Today Fred and Kym (pictured above) came in from Lansing. How nice that our friends (all three of them) came in from the Lansing area to visit Ray. Tony Estevez visited this afternoon.

For dinner Ray had pasta (with three meatballs), mashed potatoes, and pudding with crushed Oreo cookies on top. He said he feels like he is eating at the Ritz Carlton after not having any solid food since December 9th!

I ate dinner with Fred and Kym in the hospital Cafe. I had a chicken breast sandwich, fries and salad. I'm going to make chocolate chip cookies tonight for the nurses on Ray's floor. He is so happy with them!

We're still hoping for a discharge tomorrow. I will be so happy when he is home...but only if it is the RIGHT time! After the incident on Tuesday I want to make sure he is completely ready to come home. Guess that's it for today...gonna make cookies now.

Just talked with Ray. He got his lunch and for the first time in 11 days he is able to eat solid food! His lunch consisted of a small pan seared chicken breast, mashed potatoes and gravy, zucchini, and apple crisp! He is a very happy camper right now. He did have a slightly high temperature earlier today...he has to keep it down to normal before he can come home. Although tomorrow is our ultimate goal, I have a feeling it may not be until Tuesday or Wednesday.

I'm going to do some grocery shopping at Meijer today between visits. When I come home tonight I plan to make some cookies to bring to the nurses tomorrow. They have been so good to Ray.

He is doing his walks (very important), but still has the bloating. That also has to go down before he can come home. He is having a very good attitude about the possibility of spending Christmas in the hospital. If so, we'll just have a party in his room! I gotta get cleaned up so I can go make my afternoon visit. Chow!

Ray seems to be progressing well. He's been doing his walking around the third floor and he is so happy with all the nurses and unit techs on his floor. They are taking very good care of him. He's been eating very, very little of his liquid diet. Tonight I brought our cat Wiley to visit him. (Yes, the hospital allows pets to visit!) The first picture above shows Ray with Wiley in bed. The second picture shows just some of the flowers in his room window. Other flowers are scattered around the room. The last picture is of Wiley in his new carrier. He felt safer in his carrier, so we put the carrier (with Wiley in it) between Ray's legs. He purred and purred and purred. You could tell how calm he (Wiley) felt just sitting there looking at Ray and listening to him talk. (For those of you who don't know, Wiley just adores Ray.)

Today I had two friends come and help me clean the house, Nita and Philip. My friend Candy offered to provide whatever we needed for our New Year's Dinner and I took her up on her offer. Karla came by to offer to help at our New Year's Dinner and to help with anything else that needed to be done. It's amazing the outpouring of generosity from our friends here in Saugatuck/Douglas. I can't even list all the names of those who have offered to help with anything, including Tony and Kelly's support.

Our current goal is still for a Monday discharge, but we won't get too excited with that. All in all, Ray is doing well physically so far, he is just really wanting to come home.

Well, a week ago we were here at Holland Hospital for Ray's initial surgery. And we're still here. The surgeon came by this afternoon to check in on Ray. He told us to put a "star" on Monday as a goal for his discharge. He is putting Ray on a liquid diet this afternoon and said he could have some carbonated "clear" beverages...but he has to drink it slowly. Ray had me run down to the Cafe for some Sierra Mist...he's not had anything since Tuesday. We met with the discharge nurse regarding his home care. We'll be using home nursing care during his first few weeks at home. They will come in and check to make sure the wound is healing well. On Monday they will be showing me how to take care of things just in case of an emergency. Hopefully in four to six weeks they will do a last surgery to "hook" everything back up before meeting with his oncologist.

He has been walking around the third floor quite a bit today (doing "laps" as he calls it). He is a lot more talkative today. Today seems to be a much better day!

I am home from the hospital. Did some chores and now sitting down blogging. I don't think I've ever spent this many days sleeping alone in a house. Lived at home until I moved in with my brother David, then with Ray, then here to Kirby House. This is my fourth day in a row sleeping in a house alone. It is very wierd.

Anyway, enough about me. Ray's surgeon stopped in this afternoon. I clarified with him the issue about the "yeast infection." It was not in his stomach, it was in the fluid which leaked from his colon early yesterday morning. He is on an I.V. antibiotic for that. The tube going to Ray's stomach through his nose is now out. The surgeon said they did that because otherwise he would have been vomitting all that out. His blood pressue is getting higher. It was around 115 over 65 when I left tonight. His temperature has been right around normal.

I ran into Kelly Kramer this afternoon when I went in to visit Ray. It was nice to chat with him for a while. His other visitors today included Willa and Sean, Phil Raywood and Jim and Candy Jeltema from Clearbrook. From what I have observed, Ray has had more visitors than anyone else on his floor. (Although that observation may be biased.) Here is a picture (I took with my phone) of the flowers in Ray's window.

I'll tell you, after all of this, I am going to ask my doctor to do a colonoscopy on me at my next physical. I DO NOT want to go through what Ray is going through...it is NOT worth it. The thing is, Ray did what he was supposed to, he got his at the recommeded age...I don't want to wait.

Anyway, ending tonight with a stable report. Good night! Flowers in Ray

Well, it's been a week since I started this blog. I thought by now I would be writing about Ray healing nicely at home. At least he is healing in a place he needs to be...the hospital.

Other than taking a quick call from my mom this morning, I slept in until 11:30 am!! I haven't slept that late since I was a teen. I could have slept even longer but felt it was time to get up. My breakfast this morning consisted of leftover Mexican food from last Thursday. I hope it's still OK or I'll be joining Ray in the hospital bed next to him!

I called Ray and he said he is doing well, he just feels "crappy." He cannot eat OR drink, and he has the hiccups. They did take the stomach tube out this morning. I'm thinking that he has the hiccups since he had that tube down through his nose into his stomach for the last 24 hours. His blood pressure and temperature are fine. The nurse told him that during surgery yesterday the doctor found some yeast in his stomach (how they found that out I do not know). They are treating him for this. I asked Ray if he asked the doctor why he had that but Ray did not know. I checked it out on the internet and common reasons for yeast infection in the stomach is from large quantaties of antibiotics and ibuprofin. He has had LOTS of both. So I don't think there is anything to worry about there.

I'm going to go visit him today about 1:00...spend a few hours, run some erronds and then come back for the evening.

Our friends and family have been so AWESOME in their support and offers of help. Our Saugatuck-Douglas "family" is just so generous with offers to help me at the Inn. We are slow right now (and I have "closed" the Inn for several days), but I've taken Phil's offer to do a vacuum and dusting this weekend. And if you're following this blog...and have offered help...I just may be giving you a call!

Love you all.

Just talked with Ray on the phone. I asked him how he was doing and he replied "I'm trying to find something to do." I asked "Why?" He said "Because I'm bored." That made me very happy because it must mean he feels better enough to want to keep busy with something rather than just lay there in bed in pain. I asked what his pain level was and he said it was about 3. That is GREAT for what he has been through. He was at an 8 this afternoon after surgery (and that's after a lot of pain meds). He is limited as to what he can do because of all the tubes going in and out of his body. Tube down his nose to drain his stomach, oxygen in his nose, IVs in his arm, and yes, more tubes. So, he has to keep to "bed ridden activities" within an arms length access. I told him where I put his favorite activity...crossword puzzles, next to his nightstand. I am going to bring him a portable DVD player tomorrow along with some movies. He has a TV, but some optional movies would be nice. I felt good from the way he sounded, but I've said that before. He is at Holland Hospital in room 303. Visitors are welcome. The nurses on his floor are so nice.

Well, I just MIGHT get a good night sleep tonight. Please pray for it (and that Ray get's a good night too).

I'm back at the hospital. Ray's pain level is at a 5. He looks pretty good. Still a little foggy from the drugs during surgery and the pain drugs he now has. His blood pressure is 97/60. He can't have ANY liquids at all right now. He has a sponge swab that he can dip in water to moisten his lips and mouth.

Ray will be in the hospital at least five more days.

Ray's sister Kathleen (from Tennessee) just called and talked with him (and me). Scott called earlier this afternoon; and Susie talked with him last night just hours before the episode.

The woman in the Cafe was surpised to see me today. I told her yesterday that it would be my last visit there since I thought Ray was going home. I told her she would have to see me five more days.

I spoke with my mom (Audrey) today. She is going to come and stay with us for a week starting Christmas day. She wants to help us with anything that needs help doing. My brother and sister-in-law (Rich and Pam) will bring her here. Rich and Pam will stay through December 27th. My sister Katie will come the weekend of New Year's to spend some time as well and then take my mom home. My mom has been so worried and upset that she can't do anything. How wonderful it is to have a mom that loves you so much! I guess I'll go for now. I'll update tonight when I get home if there is anything new.

No good news today. Things just keep getting more complicated. Received a call at 1:25 am from Holland Hospital asking me to come in. Ray had some complications from the surgery last Friday and they were taking him back into emergency surgery. I got there around 2:00 am. Met with the surgeon and went with Ray and the nurses down to pre-op. Surgery started about 3:30 and the doctor met with me at 4:40 to give me an update. Apparently his colon started to leak into his body. (This was a risk we were made aware of.) He told me that because they responded so quickly the leakage was minimal and less risk of infection. I waited until about 6:00 am before the nurses came to tell me he was conscious and ready to be brought back to his room. I followed them as they wheeled Ray back to his room. They are giving close watch to his blood pressure (again very low) and his temperature. The doctor came by for another visit this morning and updated me on the follow up, which will require another surgery in about a month. I am completely exhausted and told Ray that I would let him try to get some rest and I would go home to get some rest also. I haven't gotten any...I can't sleep...I can't rest. Continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers. It's a true blessing (miracle?) that they did not send Ray home last night!

Spent most of the day at the hospital today. One of the ladies in the Cafe is getting to know me!

Willa and Sean, from Twin Oaks Inn, came to visit Ray today.

Ray started out good today. Good spirits and feeling better than he did yesterday. We were ready for him to come home tonight...however, at his 3:00 check up he had a fever. The surgeon came in at 5:30 and would not let him leave, even though his temperature had gone back down. Disappointing. Then he shared with us the pathology report. He said the cancer was more aggressive than he thought and that from the 11 lymph nodes he removed, seven of them had cancer. This now means going to an oncologist and doing chemotherapy and radiation. This, of course, was NOT what we were expecting. In fact the surgeon said he was VERY surprised at the pathology report.

Now he just needs to get healed up in the next few weeks. We'll focus on enjoying a wonderful Christmas together and get through New Years. Then, start 2010 all over again. We're believing in God's will through this.

By the way, if you can't see all the posts you can click on the 2009.12.01 link below for all December posts.

I really need to do a better "proof-read" of my posts. In my earlier blog I stated that Ray may come home today. I meant to say "tomorrow." I did change the blog.

I am now home from the hospital. Had lunch there today...an Italian Sausage Panini and some chili. The food there is actually quite good! When I got back to the hospital this evening I took Ray for a walk around his third floor area. Someone has to follow him to push his IV unit. He has been in extreme pain all day and has eaten next to nothing. I am pushing him to practice his lung exercises so he can avoid pneumonia. His high temperature from this morning has gone back down to normal.

His visitors today included Scott and Mary Ellen, Phil and Kelly. I was sorry that I missed Kelly.

When I left the hospital tonight Ray was feeling slightly "better" but still in pain. Since the nurses come in every two hours to check his vitals (even through the night) he probably won't get much sleep again tonight. Hopefully tomorrow he can be home in one of our own beds.

I know our cat Wiley really misses him. He is sitting here next to me right now wanting to cuddle up so bad.

Thank you again to all our friends and family for your calls, prayers and support.

Taking a short break from the hospital visit. Will go back about 5:30 or so. Today has not been a very good day for Ray. Pain, fever, and short breath are his main "symptoms." The surgeon said his pathology report should come in by tomorrow morning. We will know what we need to do after we get that (chemo, radiation, etc.). I think if his fever goes down to normal they may just send him home tomorrow. Scott and Mary Ellen left today. Our friend Phil came and visited him today. Nita and Teresa came yesterday as did Tony and Kelly. Thank you to our friends for your support through visits, phone calls and flowers!

A long day, but we are now home. Actually, watching Polar Express. ("We" being Scott, Mary Ellen and I.) Ray was not feeling too good today and had a bit of a scary moment before I got to the hospital. His blood pressure dropped VERY low...I believe to something around 60 over 35. Apparently he started to "black out" or "pass out" but recovered right away...a nurse was attending him at the moment and took care of him.

Scott and Mary Ellen arrived before I did. They were there when I got there. What a blessing to have them here for Ray...and for me. Ray's family, my family and our close friends have been in close contact with us and calling us.
Ray was "eating" a bit today...Jell-0, bland lentil soup, apple juice, and some ice-cream.

His blood pressure continues to be quite low (around 88 over 50) but they are keeping an eye on it.

Let's pray that tomorrow is a much better day for him. I think he is looking forward to tomorrow - another day of healing and feeling better.

Ended tonight with an awesome dinner at Clearbrook! The Christmas lights were such a nice therapy for us...as the food was too!

Love, hugs and kisses to all our friends and family.

I have some unfortunate news to share. Ray was diagnosed with cancer about three weeks ago. He went for a routine (first time) colonoscopy. His doctor scheduled it because he turned 50 this year. Of course we were pretty much told that we should expect nothing, this is "routine" and that 9 out of 10 people end up with nothing. Well, he was the 1 out of 10. It appears to be pretty large from what we are told. He is scheduled for surgery to remove the section of his colon which has the cancer this Friday, December 11th at 2:40 pm. At that point they will check the lymph nodes to see if it has spread. He had a CAT scan on November 30 and we haven't heard anything. I am assuming that is good news. The surgeon said the CAT scan should show us any "obvious" signs of spread...as well as details the surgeon needs to prep for surgery. We are hopeful that this has been caught "in time" but are currently in a "waiting game." So after surgery we should know if they got it all, if it spread, and if he will need chemo and/or radiation.

Of course this has really put a "wrench" into our Christmas Dinners and have had to cancel them. But, hopefully all will be close to normal by New Years! Needless to say the excitement of decorating for the holidays has been a bit of a drag...but we are trying to keep our spirits high.